To be honest I was not sorry to see the end of 2014. It was harder for me than I like years to be. I felt there were too many moments of stress and sadness intermingled with the happy. Lots of those times when I just closed my bedroom door and cried and prayed. I was glad to leave that behind. I didn’t really have the energy for making resolutions as the year drew to a close, either, and was struggling with the fact that I’m not really living my life intentionally. So many days I felt like I was just struggling to get through today.
I decided at the close of last year just to choose a word to carry through this year with me, and I even struggled to come up with one word. Should my word be MORE? More joy, more laughter, more organisation, more time with family and with Jesus? Should my word be LESS? I’d like less angst, less turmoil, less tears etc, but thats so negative, and I can’t control whether those things happen…I decided I’d just leave it.
Then we had 800km to travel on New Years Day and one of the many songs that played in the car that day was Laura Story’s ‘Blessings’.
‘Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
As this chorus played I just felt like this is to be my word. I can also look at these lyrics and see that last year was also a year of blessings because I know that with every trial and tear God was there too, and if I’m honest it’s in those times that I have felt His presence the most. That’s when I’ve needed Him most and thats where I’ve found Him.
I have no idea what this year holds. I would love for there to be an abundance of joy and peace and sunshine, but I also know that sometimes Blessings come in disguise, and they’re an important part of life too.